What to Know Before You Go to the Damn Therapist

Tips for Going to Therapy for the First Time

I am not a licensed therapist. If you are suffering from a major disorder and need treatment please seek the help of a professional. If you need help finding a mental health care provider call  1-800-662-HELP (4357). You can download a free printable list of hotlines here.

Going to a therapist, if you haven’t been, can be strange and awkward. I still feel weird going to talk to a therapist I don’t know. However, there are a lot of benefits to therapy. If you’re struggling with your mental health I encourage you to go despite feeling awkward. If it helps you feel better it will be worth those uncomfortable feelings in the beginning. My therapists have helped me through a number of difficult situations and taught me coping skills I use every day. I can honestly say going to therapy can make a huge difference in your life and help you if you are struggling. Here are some tips for going to therapy for the first time.

Finding a Therapist

Your relationship with your therapist is unique. It might take a few times to find the right person for you. You wouldn’t quit dating if you didn’t find a long term partner on your first date. Finding a therapist can be like that. You have to go to different therapists to figure out what you like and what works for you. Try searching online with Psychology Todays Therapist Finder. When you’re looking for a therapist do some research about different methods. Some of the basic frameworks include:

Behavior therapy This approach focuses on normal and abnormal behaviors

Cognitive therapy Cognitive therapy emphasizes normal and abnormal thoughts

Humanistic therapy Is an approach is based on concern and respect for others

You can read more about theoretical approaches in this article. Think about what you want to work on before you begin therapy. Going to a therapist is a significant investment of your time and money. You want to have a clear idea of what will make it worth it to you.

going to therapy for the first time


It Takes Time

I’ve heard people say therapy wasn’t for them after they only went to one session. There’s absolutely no way to know if therapy is for you after one session. It can take a long time to build a relationship with a therapist in order to do the deep work you might need to do to heal. Your relationship with your therapist is like every other relationship in your life and it’s not built overnight. If you’re going to go to therapy you need to commit to giving it a fair shot (I would say six months).

Don’t Worry

Yes, talking to a stranger can be awkward. However, your therapist is a professional. They aren’t judging you or your problems. They are there because they want to help you. Don’t let fear stop you from doing something good for yourself. If you’re feeling scared or nervous, keep in mind why you want to go. If you’re seeking help with anxiety or depression, think about how much better your life could be if you didn’t have to spend so much energy managing those things. Imagine how many possibilities there would be for your life.


going to therapy for the first time


Put Yourself Out There

You get out of therapy what you put in. If you aren’t ready or willing to open up and work through some of your stuff then you aren’t going to get the results you want. Healing can be scary but you are worth it. It’s OK if it takes time for you to trust your therapist, but if you aren’t willing to open up, you probably aren’t going to get the results you want. For therapy to be effective you have to be committed to healing even if it’s uncomfortable.

Call Them

After you find a therapist you’re interested in seeing call and talk to them on the phone. Ask where they went to school, how long they have been practicing, and what theoretical framework they use. Tell them what you want to work on (anxiety, depression, confidence, etc) and ask how they would approach it. Talk to them about rates, insurance, and sliding scales. If you can’t afford what they are charging ask for a referral. Notice how you feel talking to them. If you’re able to work out a rate you can afford and you feel like they might be able to help you, schedule an appointment.

There’s Nothing to Lose

If you’re thinking about going to therapy, I urge you to try it. Maybe it won’t be for you but you won’t know unless you try. Isn’t it worth it to see if you can find a therapist to help you feel better? Your life is too short to stay miserable and/or in pain. I found therapy to be effective but I tried and am still trying lots of different things to manage my depression. You have to try different things to find what works for you. If you are unhappy find some way to take action and eventually you will find something that will help you.

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