How To Be Positive and Confident

For many years I felt stuck in my life.

I followed lots of girls online that had blogs and were sharing about their lives and helping other people and I always thought it looked so cool.

I never in my wildest dreams thought I could do it too.

For years I followed them and wished I could do something like that too.

I used this mindset hack to help me shift my limiting stories from “I could never help anyone” to “I’m an unstoppable force for good” and the rest is history.

I hope this mindset training for confidence helps you.

You can listen to the podcast episode below or subscribe and listen to the podcast episode for free on iTunes or Podbean.


Identify Your Stories

  • We mistakenly identify the stories that we tell about life and how it works for us as fact.
  • To identify your stories ask yourself if what you’re saying is fact.
  • Is it true for everyone 100% of the time? Has it ever not been true for you?
  • If any story could be true what would you choose as the new truth for your life?
  • It can be difficult to view stories we’ve identified with and understood to be fact as anything other than fact.
  • You really need to tune into your inner and outer dialogue and start listening to the things you say about life and how it works.
  • Once you can identify when you’re telling a story you can start choosing new beliefs for your life.

Switch Your Stories

I told a lot of stories about my life for a long time that held me back.

Things like “I’m not smart enough to go to grad school”, “no one would ever read a blog I wrote” or “I’ll never find a good relationship” held me back for years.

Once I realized that those statements were actually stories and not facts I was able to decide to pick new stories to tell about my life.

Now my narrative is more like “I learn new things quickly and easily”, “it is second nature for me to help lots of people online” and “the perfect relationship is coming to me at the perfect time”.

Journal Prompts

  • If a magic genie appeared and gave you unlimited wishes what would you wish for?
  • If you got to decide the rules of how life worked for you what would you decide?
  • What stories do you tell around relationships?
  • Is this story serving you? Does it make you feel positive and excited?
  • What is the most empowering story about relationships you can imagine?
  • What stories do you tell around your career?
  • Is this story serving you? Does it make you feel positive and excited?
  • What is the most empowering story about your career that you can imagine?
  • What stories do you tell about yourself and your self-worth?
  • Is this story serving you? Does it make you feel positive and excited?
  • What is the most empowering story about myself that I can imagine?

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is one of my favorite ways to rewire your brain to be more positive.

I spent so many years of my life battle clinical depression that my mind is used to looking for everything that is terrible about life.

Seriously, at any given time I can give you a big fat list of everything that sucks about my life.

The problem with being like this is that it is terrible for my confidence and it makes me feel bad overall.

I found when I started to make an effort to find all of the little good things in my day and really appreciate them it had a huge impact on my mental health.

This actually takes quite a bit of effort and mindfulness from me throughout the day.

My default state is kind of numb and checked out so to actually feel gratitude in my body I have to be really aware of what I’m doing.

I do find that this practice is worth my time though and I suggest if you’re struggling with confidence that you start writing down every little tiny thing you appreciated about your day at night before you go to sleep.

If you know you have to create a gratitude list at the end of the day your mind will be looking for things you can add to your list throughout the day.

It’s a great way to trick yourself into being more positive when you feel like all you focus on is the negative crap that happens every day.

Stop Complaining

If you’re really serious about feeling better you need to give up complaining cold turkey.

I used to be a complaining queen (check out my podcast episode about it here) and I have transformed my life by completely giving up complaining and forcing myself to only talk about the positive things in my life.

The truth is, I have a ton to be thankful for in my life and complaining was taking my focus away from my blessings.

I made a really serious commitment to stop complaining all the time and I was shocked at how much it changed my life over time.

Complaining doesn’t really do you any good. In fact, I bet if you pay attention to how you feel after you get done complaining that you actually feel worse than if you had just kept it to yourself.

Besides making yourself feel bad you also make everyone around you feel crappy too.

We’ve all experienced someone who felt terrible to be around because all they did was complain and focus on everything that is going wrong in their life.

You don’t want to be that person! Now I focus on trying to make every conversation I have infused with as much positive energy as possible.

When I get done talking to someone I want them to feel recharged and not drained.

Alter Ego

  • When I woke up the morning of my interview I pretended I was my alter ego.
  • My alter ego doesn’t fuck around. She has everything together and she takes no shit.
  • She would walk into an interview and slay the thing.
  • I channeled my alter ego on my Snapchat and I mentioned I had a job interview coming up and I was going to kill it.
  • My alter ego is confident AF so when my friend texted me to wish me good luck I told her I had a really good feeling about it.
  • I paid close attention to what I said and I made sure I was acting the way my alter ego would act.
  • When I walked into my interview I felt confident and ready to kill it.


  • I heard in a podcast that standing in a power pose for two minutes can activate testosterone and activate the more dominant side of your brain.
  • I have no idea if that is true or not but whenever I started to doubt myself I try to power up my posture by standing up a little straighter and pulling my shoulders back.
  • I kept both of my feet on the floor to ground myself during my interview and focused on sitting up really straight and feeling strong.

Kill Limiting Beliefs

Whenever I felt a fear creeping into my brain before my interview I would write it down in my journal and then cross it out and write a whole tangent of affirmations.

This helped me replace my stupid negative anxiety-producing thoughts into  It looked like this:

I’m not going to get this job because no one will hire me

I would do a great job and truly serve the students I work with. Service is in my heart and everyone I talk to can feel it. The Universe always provides for me and everything always works out for me. People can feel my energy and love. Whenever I interview, I get hired. People fucking love to hire me. The right answers always come easily to me in interviews. I am open and ready to receive. People can feel my good energy and love. 

Divine Timing

I believe in divine timing so I reminded myself that the Universe will bring me the right opportunities at the right time.

Divine timing makes me feel a lot less anxious because it takes some of the pressure off of saying the right things or having the perfect interview answers.

Ultimately there are a ton of reasons someone might or might not choose to hire you.

All you can really do is be yourself and if it is meant for you it will happen.

I hope this confidence mindset training helps you start telling more empowering stories about your life.

Be sure to listen to the podcast episode on Podbean or iTunes and subscribe for new mental health episodes every week.

I have lots of great posts about how I manage depression and I would love it if you checked them out.

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how to have confidence | confidence hacks


Tips to become more confident and increase confidence

In this episode of my mental health podcast I share with you how to become more confident in yourself. These are all the tips and tricks I used for building confidence and feeling better about myself. #confidence #mentalhealth #positivity #podcast

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