I’ve been working really hard to live my best damn life and a big part of that has been detoxing everything that doesn’t bring me joy. I am stupid messy and when Konmari was all the rage I jumped on the tidying up magic train. The method didn’t stick with me 100% and at any given time there are multiple projects making big messes in various rooms in my hosue. The thing I really love about Konmari though is the idea of letting everything go that doesn’t spark joy. I like to apply the principle to other aspects of my life besides just material things. This is such an epic principle to live by if you really think about it.
Uncomfortable heels? See ya!
Job that smothers your soul and wastes your talents? Tata for now!
Boyfriend that insults your looks and cuts down your dreams? Boy bye!
Going through your house and getting rid of every single damn thing that doesn’t spark job can be really empowering. Once I had gotten rid of all the material things that didn’t light me up anymore I moved onto less tangible things like daily practices, relationships and self talk. Here are some things I have been working on decluttering for my mental health.
I have been trying to declutter the time I spend fucking around each day. I know you know what I’m talking about. Don’t act like you’ve never wasted your sweet precious time playing Angry Birds. We all have ways we waste lots of time everyday. If I didn’t watch Netflix every night I could probably have earned a PhD by now. I love this article on Get Bullish that talks about cutting out all the daily “fucking around” we do and instead focus on spending our time doing things that are either extremely productive or extremely pleasurable.
“Is looking at Modcloth dresses you can’t afford as fun as eating chocolate in the bathtub? Why play Farmville when you could be trying new sexual positions and photographing the results for nostalgic reminiscence when you are elderly?”
Try to identify your biggest time wasters and swap them out for the most pleasurable ways you can find to pass the time. I love baths so I’ve changed my evening routine from watching Netflix on the couch to listening to podcasts in the bathtub while I do a face mask, hair mask and give myself a pedicure. Decluttering your life of all the fucking around you’re doing can give you time to do more of the things you really truly enjoy. On top of finding more time for pleasure you can also find more time to get shit done. Usually I spend my lunch hour each day browsing Facebook and Instagram but since I’ve been decluttering my life of fucking around I’ve been working on finishing my ebook (hopefully it’ll be coming soon!). Use any little bit of time you can find to do something great for your future self and head towards the life you want to be living or spend it doing something really freaking pleasurable.
Until I really started to declutter my diet I had tricked myself into thinking I was actually eating healthy. I spent Sunday meal prepping and making “clean” meals to take to work for the week (just like all those instagram models!). However, it wasn’t until I got serious about my eating habits and totaled up all the calories I was eating that I realized I was eating way too much crap food. Like a candy bar and bag of chips every. single. day. The whole time I felt so smug eating my salmon and vegetables for lunch while my overall diet was still filled with a ton of garbage. I decluttered my eating by going through and replacing all the junk food I was eating with healthy alternatives. This means I have to pack more food for work but it’s really not a big deal. I feel WAY better now that I’m not going through a big sugar crash at the end of the day and that gives me more energy after work to do things that make me feel good like going to the gym or writing on this blog.
I decluttered my exercise routine by getting freaking focused. I am a big advocate of ten minute workouts but I had been letting myself get away with only doing one or two a week. That is not enough exercise to keep my mental health strong. Not even close. I still do my ten minute YouTube workouts and if you’re new to fitness I think you should try them but I am now holding myself accountable to exercise at least 3-4 times per week. This is the frequency that helps me feel my best. The other way I’m decluttering my fitness is to pay more attention when I’m working out and try to actually push myself. There are so many benefits to working out at home instead of going to the gym but one of the cons is no one is around to see if I let myself slack off during my workouts. I’m working on cutting out all the half ass exercise I was doing and replacing it with intentionally strong ass kicking instead.
I have a whole article about how to read the news without getting really freaking depressed. However, I often suck at taking my own good advice. I love to follow politics but that shit can really get me down. It’s hard to find the balance between wanting to be educated and informed and wanting to maintain my own mental health and happiness. I have decluttered my news intake by taking the app off my phone and only reading the news one time per day. When I have the app on my phone I tend to read it all damn day and by the end of the day I am completely burnt out. By decluttering my day of all the “news checks” I usually do throughout the day I’m able to be more focused and present. Reading the news once in the morning allows me to still be informed but prevents me from burning up a ton of energy following current events.
There’s a few ways I’ve decluttered my social media. Like the news I have taken the apps off of my phone and I only look at it once per day. In addition to limiting it, I also take anyone who doesn’t inspire me and make me feel good off of my news feed. Try to fill your social media with Instagramers that inspire you and Facebook friends that spark joy in your heart. Social media can be filled with a lot of negativity if you don’t actively declutter it. Make your goal this week to have the most joy filled social media platforms as you possibly can. Share positive messages on Facebook and Twitter. Put up some inspirational quotes on Instagram. Comment tons of encouraging and complimentary things on friends pictures and posts. Try to make your social media the happiest place on the damn internet. Anything that is negative or toxic doesn’t deserve your attention. Delete, remove or block as you feel needed.
OK, so I know this isn’t supposed to be about declutting your house but my closet is still a work in progress. I have tackled the project lately of upgrading my wardrobe and I want all of the outfits that I own to spark joy and make me feel like a bad ass queen. All of the stuff I have that doesn’t do that has been getting the ax. I’ve been using the app Poshmark to help me redo my wardrobe. I love it because it makes it so damn easy to sell and buy used clothes, you just download the app, snap a picture and add your price. Once the item sells, Poshmark will send you a shipping label that you can print out. You can even schedule the postal service to come pickup the package so you don’t even have to take it anywhere. If you’re interested in trying it out you can use my code (UOKAL) to get $5.00 to use towards your first purchase. I’ve been using Poshmark to help me build my bad ass queen wardrobe by purchasing items I want for a fraction of the price. Recently, I fell in love with a pair of shoes at Nordstroms (the Vince Camuto Evel sandals-aren’t they the cutest?) but like most things at Nordstroms, they were a bit too pricey for me. I ended up finding the exact pair of shoes I wanted on Poshmark for just twenty bucks and three days later they were sitting in my closet. Buying shoes might not seem like a great way to declutter but I got rid of every pair that didn’t make me feel like a bad ass and replaced them with one pair of really cute comfortable flats for daily wear and one cute pair of shoes for going out. Decisions stress me out so having too many choices is not ideal for me or my anxiety. Less choices, more bad assness. Those are my closet and fashion goals.
I know how hard it can be to declutter your garbage self talk but the sooner you do it the better. Life is too short to go around beating yourself down. Picture yourself living the best life you can possible dream up. Imagine how that person would feel and how she would talk to herself in her head. In your fantasy dream life are you going around beating yourself up? I really freaking hope not, life is too short to go around making yourself feel like crap. Work on decluttering all the negative thoughts you have about yourself and replacing them with affirmations. Do you want to go through life thinking “gosh, I’m such a spectacular loser and nothing good will ever happen to me” or “I’m going to keep doing my very best and I can’t wait to see what life has waiting for me in the future”. You’re the only one that has to live in your head. You should really work on making it the most kind, motivational and inspirational place that you possible can.
I am the queen of having a total cluster fuck of a goal list. I have a never ending amount of ideas but I am also epically bad at planning. This results in tons of drafted blog posts, half written books and courses that were all started in a moment of inspiration and then abandoned. Decluttering your goals means getting clear on what you really freaking want. When I have big picture goals it helps keep me from getting distracted by the thousands of ideas that pop into my brain all the time. We only get to live ONCE and that scares the absolute heck out of me. Spend some time dreaming about what your absolutely perfect and ideal life would be like. Then write down some steps you can take to start working towards it. It’s OK if you’re goals are really far away and I’m a big believer in dreaming really freaking big. If you don’t have the audacity to believe you could be a girlboss entrepreneur with a cute dog and a jaw dropping handsome and supportive feminist boyfriend (ok so this might be specific to me) you probably won’t ever get those things. You deserve to have every single damn thing your heart wants in this life. Once you believe that the world starts to look like it has a lot more possibilities and it’s a lot easier to declutter your goals and get crystal fucking clear about what your heart really wants.
I am not a licensed therapist. If you are suffering from a major disorder and need treatment please seek the help of a professional. If you need help finding a mental health care provider call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit BetterHelp to talk to a certified therapist online at an affordable price. You can download a free printable list of hotlines here and join the free mental health support group on Facebook here. This post contains affiliate links, you can read my full disclosure policy here.
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