I get emails all the time from women who are walking through really dark times in their lives.
I can relate.
Not that long ago my life seemed like it was going nowhere.
I was struggling with clinical depression, had no money and nowhere to live. I felt stuck and like things would never go my way.
I remember waking up every day feeling depleted and tired of everything.
I still have ups and downs but these days life is going pretty good for me. I wake up excited every day and Monday is my favorite day of the week.
I don’t take this happiness or joy for granted because those years of darkness and hopelessness are still fresh in my mind.
In this post, I want to share with you what I did to transform my life and hopefully, it will give you some ideas for how you can start your own journey when you’re tired of life.
Clean Up Your Diet
I believe your physical health and mental health are closely linked together.
When I feel physically tired I don’t have the energy to do all the self-care things I need to do for my mental health. One of the best things I ever did for my mental health was clean up my diet.
I started by cutting out food I knew I shouldn’t be eating (diet coke, sugar, junk food). I also made an effort to add healthy foods to my diet. I slowly started working out processed food and replacing it with vegetables and salads. I learned how to make an easy salad that I liked eating (you can find my favorite recipes here).
These days I try to make sure my dinner is mostly vegetables and whole food. I had struggled for a long time to start eating healthy but I think it was because I was making too many changes too fast. I would go to the store and only buy vegetables and food I had to cook.
The problem was that was such a big shift from how I was used to eating that I couldn’t keep it up. I would inevitably end up getting a pizza or ordering takeout after a week or so and then I would quickly fall right back into my old habits.
When I started making one change at a time it became a lot easier to sustain. Cut out one thing you shouldn’t be eating and add one healthy habit to your diet to start with.
Once you’ve been doing that for a month or two cut out another unhealthy habit and add another new healthy thing. Doing one thing at a time has really helped me make sustainable healthy changes that help me feel more energized.
I am a huge fan of dreaming big but you need an exceptional amount of energy to chase down big goals.
Exercising is vital to my mental health and I know I wouldn’t have had any of the success I have had if I hadn’t made a commitment to exercising.
Energy isn’t something you have it’s something you create.
If you feel tired and drained you need to focus heavily on creating more energy and the best way to do that is with exercise.
Right now I am exercising seven days a week as part of the last 90-day challenge. Working out every day has really transformed my entire life but I’ve also had to do a lot of mindset work to eliminate the mental struggle I used to have around going to the gym.
You can listen to my podcast episode about it here. Basically, I have decided not to negotiate with myself around working out anymore. Whenever I start thinking about how I don’t feel like working out or maybe I’ll just skip my workout I choose to stop that thought pattern.
I have committed not only to working out every single day but to working out every single day without negotiation.
For me, I found that working out really wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was all the mental gymnastics I had to do to get myself to workout.
Once I was at the gym I was good but getting there was such a mental struggle every day. By making the decision not to negotiate about working out I eliminated all the mental struggle and now going the gym is just part of my daily routine.
I almost didn’t put this in here because it just sounds so basic.
However, I’m embarrassed to admit I only recently started drinking enough water. Before I was mostly just drinking coffee all day long and sipping on water once and a while.
Part of the 90-day challenge I’m doing is drinking an actual ton of water every day. I never realized how little water I was drinking until I made the commitment to drink 100 ounces per day.
Now I straight up chug water throughout the day and I feel SO much better. PLUS my dry skin actually looks glowy for once.
It’s such an easy practice to start but if you’re not doing I recommend you start right now. Walking around dehydrated all day is going to make you feel tired and we need to get our energy up if we’re going to make real changes in our life.
Talk to a Doctor
If you feel physically tired and drained you need to talk to a Doctor. I like to get complete lab work done every year and they tell me if I have any vitamin deficiencies. If you are feeling really tired there could be a medical reason for that.
I am a huge advocate for medication and if you’ve been struggling with anxiety or depression I suggest talking to a Doctor and finding out what the treatment options are.
Once you have the information you can decide what is best for you.
I know medication is not the answer for everyone but there is still so much stigma against taking medication for mental health that I feel compelled to share my experience with anti-depressants as much as I can.
I had clinical depression that was untreated for over ten years. When I finally started going to therapy and eventually got on an anti-depressant my whole life changed.
I was able to finish grad school, travel for months at a time and have healthy relationships for the first time in my life. My biggest regret is not getting the medication I needed sooner.
Living with depression meant that I missed out on countless opportunities throughout my life and I don’t want you to make the same mistake I did. Make an appointment to talk to a Doctor and get a full health screening.
Get a Routine
Ever since I read the book The Miracle Morning, I’ve been obsessed with having a great morning routine. What daily practices or habits would change your life if you did them consistently? Adding them into a routine will help you build the habits. I love the Miracle Morning because you use the time in the morning to do things that are good for yourself. This is a special time to feed your soul and get the day started right. The things in your morning routine should be stuff that you generally look forward to.
My morning practice includes:
- Read a self-help book and drink coffee
- Plan out my day in my planner
- Pull a tarot card
- Pull an affirmation card
These are the practices that I love but your routine can look completely different. If you’re tired of life start making time for the things you enjoy.
Get a Vision
If you’re tired of life that means it’s time to make some changes in your life.
The best thing I ever did for my life got clear on the big picture vision that I wanted for my life. Here are some of the journal prompts I use when I need to get clear:
- If money was no object what would your life look like?
- If you knew for certain you could not fail what would you do?
- If a genie gave you unlimited wishes what would you want?
These sort of questions can help you create a vision for what you want without worrying about what you think is possible. I don’t think that your dreams should seem rational or easy to get to.
Once you know what you want you can start breaking it down into smaller obtainable goals but you need to big picture before you can set goals.
Once you have a vision for your life you need to make a plan to help you get there.
I have found that long goals are too difficult for me to obtain. Generally, I do much better when I set 90 day goals. The shorter timeframe helps me stay focused and I am more likely to set goals that are actually achievable.
What could you achieve in the next 90-days that would bring you closer to your vision for your life?
Where do you want to be a year from now? How can you break that into quarterly goals?
I like to write my goals at the beginning of each month on a big whiteboard in my office. This way I see them regularly and I don’t just write them down and forget about them. I suggest you put your goals somewhere that you will see them like by a door or on your refrigerator.
Once you have a vision and some goals set for yourself find some people online that are living the life you want to create.
You don’t want to feel jealous or compare yourself but you want to show yourself that the life you want to create is possible. Instagram is a great place to follow people and get a glimpse of what their lives look like behind the scenes.
By seeing other people achieving what you want to achieve it will be easier for you to feel confident that you can achieve it too.
If you’ve never seen someone do the thing that you want to do it’s going to be harder to believe it’s possible for you to achieve it. The more examples you can find of successful people the better.
Take Care of Yourself
Sometimes when you’re tired of life it’s because you’ve been pouring too much energy into everyone else in your life and not focusing enough on yourself.
What makes you happy?
What brings you joy?
If you’ve been dimming your own desires to prioritize other people it’s time to make some changes. This is your one chance at living this life you’ve been given.
How do you want to spend it?
Start planning time to take yourself on dates. Go to a movie or a favorite restaurant. Treat yourself to a new book. Cook your favorite meal. Plan a trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go.
If you’re tired of life that is usually a good sign that you need to invest time into yourself doing more of the things you love doing.
How can you start taking excellent care of yourself?
I often get focused on work and neglect taking care of myself. Before I know it I’m burnt out and exhausted.
If you’re feeling burnt out on life it’s time to do a hard reset. Give yourself permission to be selfish and put yourself first.
Do something just because it feels good. Take a nap in the middle of the day. Eat a big piece of chocolate cake. Go for a really long walk. Ignore all of your emails.
Usually, when I’m feeling tired of life I haven’t been making enough time to connect with people I care about. It’s easy for me to work all the time and ignore all of my friends and family.
Before I know it I’ve cut myself off from everyone and isolated myself.
Have you been making your relationships a priority? Do you need to spend some energy meeting new people? Who have you lost touch with that you would like to reconnect with?
Now is a great time to connect with your friends and family. Check in and see how they’re doing. Make plans with a friend that makes you laugh. Start planning a trip to visit a friend that lives far away.
Relationships take effort and when you’re tired of life it’s easy to let them fall apart. Make the effort to keep your relationships with the people in your life strong.
This is the time to pull people closer to you, not push them further away.
If you’re really struggling and you’ve been tired of life for awhile tell someone. It can be embarrassing and hard to admit that you’re having a hard time but sometimes we need to admit that we’re not doing great.
When I hold everything in and pretend like I’m fine when I’m not it makes things so much worse. I feel weighted down and trapped.
Telling the truth helps you face reality and admit to yourself that you are having a hard time.
If you have a friend to talk to reach out to them.
If you don’t have anyone to support you it’s time to go talk to a therapist.
If you’re tired of life it’s time to get the support you need to start getting better sooner rather than later. I have found when I put off facing reality and admitting I need help it just makes my unhappiness drag out even longer.
I have a podcast episode about asking for help you can check out below.
Hire a Professional
Having friends and family available to support us is great but it’s not the same as having a great therapist.
Therapists are trained to give you sound and professional advice and they have insight that your friends just don’t have. Plus your therapist can give you tough love in a way that friends and family might not be able to.
A therapist will also have techniques and tools to help you manage your mental health that other people in your life probably aren’t aware of.
Having someone I can talk to in a safe non-judgemental space has been a HUGE help on my mental health journey. I know it can be intimidating to go to therapy but I think the results you get are worth it.
If talking to someone face to face is too intimidating you can try online therapy (I use BetterHelp)
If you’re feeling tired of life I hope this guide gives you some ideas of actions you can take. If you’re unhappy it’s so important that you do something about it. I wasted so many years of my life stuck in depression instead of making changes to improve my life.
Trust me, you don’t want to do that.
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I am not a licensed therapist or mental health professional. If you are suffering from a major disorder and need treatment please seek the help of a professional. If you need help finding a mental health care provider call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit BetterHelp to talk to a certified therapist online at an affordable price. This post contains affiliate links, you can read my full disclosure policy here.
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